First Job =]

Bonjour blogg!

It has been a long time ago Since I last woke up early in the morning.

Yeah. I couldn't sleep well last night.

Air conditioning in my room is spoilt.

And I am forced to sleep under a mini fan.

It was very hot. Aduh.

Well. Life after spm is very Boring.

The same daily routine for everyday.

Drama. Hanging out. House chores. Chilling with cousins.

Quite Boring.

But it's going to be less Boring after today.

I have got a job! As a Primary tutor!

to be honest, I feel nervous as I do not have any experience.

This is the first job I have in my life.

I m afraid the students couldn't understand What I m saying.

Yeah. That's me. Sucks in giving explanation. Though I understand What are We learning.

Like What my friend said, do not ever Simply teach though you didnt have any experience.

Just Try your best to share the knowledge to the students.

I am going to Try my best later!  Hope they sit still and pay attention.

God bless me! May god be with me!

Hmm.. untitled..

I won't blame you for leaving me without telling me any reason.

I am the one Who have started first. Maybe?

But think before you leap.

I have never ever try to do something that hurt you.

I can say that I never.

Because I know it's an avenue to end our friendship.

Why should I hurt my friend when He or she has done a lot for me?

I should appreciate. And I always do.

Sadly you can't see that I am appreciating.

Whatever you taught me,
Whatever mistakes you have corrected me,
Whatever problems you have helped me,
Whatever exam tips you have shared with me,
Whatever this and that,
I appreciate them very much.

And I have changed my mistakes.

But you're the one Who never change. I still remember those mistakes.

Fine you didn't change. I know if I correct you, you Sure deny it.

So what for I correct you? 

Candidly. I will never forget whatever mistakes friends have corrected me.

Because this is for my own Good.

Do you know that? Why can't you ever think of me?

Do you think I will do something that might hurt you or even your friends? 

How should I confront you when something happen that has Nothing to do with me?

You treat your friend sincerely, what about me?

Does this mean I Don't need to have any friends?

Do you even know that when I confront you two years ago, my friend might abandon me? 

Do you know what is confidante?

I just Don't understand. I Hope you will think over and over again.

If you want to fight about whatever I have done to you, you can come and find me.

I swear whatever you have done to me is a lot more than whatever I have done to you.

Don't you ever deny that!

But well,

Seriously I do appreciate you very much.

But you can't see that. Fine.

I have offered you many chances and you just destroyed it.

Fine then.

No more second chance. I will take this as a lesson.

May you have a bright future. God bless.

why oh why :(

annyeonghaseyo bloggie.

it's 11.11.2013. a meaningful date. not sure what is it about. none of my business. 

i am very pissed off with those people who have stolen my money. 

it's my hard work to save such a great amount. and now. everything's vanished. dissipated. 

i hate it. abhor it. i feel like give that person a big punch and get my money back from him or her. 

i wonder who is the theif. it's either he or her. who on earth is that? SPM candidates? STPM's? 

or the cleaning workers? i don't think it's cleaning workers. i think it's one of my classmates. 

because everything a stealing case happened, only my class students' belongings got stolen. 

and now. it's my turn. i left my money inside purse and after that i put my purse inside my bag. 

my bag was zipped. then i leave it in the hall together with my friends' and all the candidates'. 

i went to sit for my exam in the classroom located in Block A. 

after that, i went back and take my bag before i go back. 

i did not realise my money have already got stolen by the time i take my bag. on thursday.

i only realised it on friday when i need money to buy something. out of the blue, everything's gone. ._. 

i bet that's my mistakes. i shouldn't have left my bag inside the hall albeit there's others bags too.

but i really wondered what's going on with the theif? he or she has economy problem? or? 

congratulations then. you've earned a total amount of RM270 by stealing my money and also my friend's. 

haven't total up the previous cases. i guess you have earned up to RM500 from stealing our class's. 

woah. so much money. thank you for giving me a chance to know that it's my mistakes. 

thanks god for letting me to experience this incident. i must be careful next time.

i shouldn't have been so careless. i take this incident as a lesson.

i cannot simply leave my purse anywhere i want although it's during exam. 

i must not! remember this, gwen! 

people, learn from my experience yeah! never ever leave your purse or wallet anywhere you like ya! 

Finally the day has come

bonjour blog. finally the day has come. today is the first day and i just came back from school. 

all of the spm candidates in malaysia had just sat for our BM paper 1. essay writings. 

woohoo.. no more bm writing in my life! haha! unless i have child in future xD

well. so far. as usual. i have been busy preparing for it. at the same time, i have been searching tips too. and also answering questions the candidates asked in facebook's secret group.

newspaper posted about spm's issue whereby the questions have been released. so i think they might change the questions. this has got me frighten. urgh. 

wish all the spm candidates good luck! all the best! looking forward to hear good news from you guys on march 2014! :)) 

god bless you all and may he be with you all! :) 

READ THE QUESTIONS CAREFULLY AND THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU GIVE AN ANSWER. OPEN YOUR EYES BIGGER AND BIGGER. 

overall, just wanna say good luck :) just 27 days and we will be free! let's do it together. xoxo.  

Blank Intro

hey blog. just had my lunch with dad at the spring. mum and brother went to kl this morning. 

brother is going to take part in international cycling competition tomorrow. wish him all the best. =) 

yeah. here i am. updating my blog in brother's room. i am alone at home. studying. chatting via facebook. 

that feeling is so awesome when you get to be alone at home. but i hate it when it's pouring down. urgh.

well. for your information, form five students are going to graduate soon. i mean finishing high school life. 

i am one of them :( i don't want to leave them. my school, teachers and friends. 

together we fight, we sing, we played, we screamt, we cried, we backstabbed others, we played truant, we gossiped about teachers, we cheated during exam, we brought benda haram, we countdown the days to finish exam when exam start and others. 

all these have been happening throughout five years. and it's gonna be memories. why does time fly so fast? :( 

i admit i just started making friends with some of them in the beginning of this year like joanne teng, chien ping, maggie, jordan, melvin, pei swee, jun tat, song lin and my classmates. 

i mean i start talking to them and playing with them, but after eleven months, we are forced to separate again! :(  no please! 

they are so lovely, friendly and funny though guys are quite gay.

not only schoolmates, tuition mates also! omg! especially pbk's! i just met them this year and now! :( 

tiffany, olivia and audrey :( please don't leave me :(

i m gonna miss the time when i get to talk to olivia at downstairs in pbk :( when she's waiting for her car and i just reached. 

teachers too!! i am gonna miss the time when i used to sleep in the class for the whole period especially during english, sejarah and moral. 

they are nice. they will never stop sharing knowledges with us. thanks teachers!

yesterday we had majlis izin ilmu calon where we can ask blessings from teachers and also shaking hands with them. 

some of the teachers and students cried. tearsdrop on their face. it was touching moment. 

thanks god my camera didn't get confiscated by the teachers. alleluia. 

Fat Soluble Class Issue

Bonjour blog. It has been a long time ago since I had my blog updated. Well. It's 4 50pm now. Sitting on the stairs updating blog. Have to attend BM tuition later. Hmmm.. As you see the topic of the day, fat soluble class issue. Yeah. Someone's class. They are having a class party on 30th October and everyone is required to bring a food. I think it's something like pot luck party or graduation party. During the discussion, argument occurred between them especially the girls. I just don't understand what is going on with them. I mean, they are not matured. Childish. What for quarreling just because of a party? It should be an unforgettable party and now I don't think it's a party anymore. Why are the girls being so mean on what food do their classmates bring? You never eat anything before huh? To me, the girls are greedy, selfish, fundamental. They never think of others. I mean those who decided to bring the food they want such as cake. Hey girls. People didn't ask any reward from you and yet you still dare to ask for a better food? You think your friends are rich huh? If you want to eat, buy and bring yourselves . Come on. Be matured please. You're not even worth to be a clever student. Clever student with such attitude. Omg. And I can't believe due to this issue, best friends become enemy and now everyone is quarreling . Funny man! Anyway, if I saw this incident, I would rather stay at home and study rather than going to school attending this party. I swear it's gonna be unhappy if I go. Banyak Macam punya people. Zzz.

Celtic Woman :)

hey blog. i just had a little time to update my bloggie today. going to continue my studies later. 

recently, i am getting into celtic woman's songs! they are from ireland. so pretty! their voices are amazing! 

awesome! hilarious! gorgeous! omg. and their dresses too!! so pretty man! i love it! 

their songs are so nice . very sweet. touching when i listen to it :) i have added them into my blog :) 

hope everyone of you will enjoy listening to them! trust me! their voices are beyond awesome!! 

of course you can search them in google. they are in group. i love their dress! 

okay that's all for this post. going to download a few songs of it. want to keep it inside my phone. 

have a nice day. god bless you all. xoxo 

R.A.N.D.O.M

hey blog. just came back from school. had my chinese paper today. progressive test before the real spm.

before i sign in my blog, as usual, i was wondering what should i write? and here i am.

i would like to grab this opportunity to thanks those who have celebrated my birthday and also your presents!

thanks for celebrating my day! i'm officially 17! thanks all! :) god bless you all!

i am going to share gifts i have received from my friends here :) photos i mean :) hehe.

this is the surprise i received from my gangs in school. they really have the heart to plan it. Napoleon cake.

i am so touched. it was celebrated on 24th september after school but before chinese class. 

we were still planning on how to celebrate my birthday in that morning >< 

they even asked me to give my mum a call whether am i allowed or not to go out on saturday of the week >

<

but in the afternoon after school, everything has changed >< so gan dong! kamsahamnida! 

gan dong till none of the words can be used to describe! thanksss! strike forward to your spm everybody! fighting! 

next, another surprise also. haha. 

this is from my neighbours. they were planning to bring me to go out and celebrate.

but mum disallowed so they cancelled their plan. 

on 28th september, the day before my turn to be 17, i was doing my tuition's chemistry exercises. 

they came to my house. i was at upstairs. mum shouted at me saying they came. 

when i came down, the only thing i saw is them and two tupperware bottles they gave to me. 

i went to the kitchen, i saw a cake! i was surprised! thanks!! it's blueberry cake! 

somehow i dislike blueberry cake >< but since they brought it to my house, i just accept :)  

they keep on saying sorry to me because they did not buy my favourite aka tiramisu. gwaenchana. it's okay. :)

thanks for celebrating my day! i have appreciated it very much! 

not only 2 cakes, there's another cake from my parents, as usual. woah. this year totally break my record. 

having 3 cakes during my birthday week! omg! i am getting fatter and fatter! >< 

luckily all of them were not tiramisu! otherwise, i will feel very boring eating it >< 

sooner or later, i guess i am going to be a little pig!! haha! 

thanks for the cups too! and also ferrero rocher chocolate from daphne! :) 

thanks for the baskin robbins and starbucks which i can only receive right after spm!! :)  

okay bah. typed too much. i should call a halt now. lazy to continue anymore. bye. 

** friends, please be aware on how you have treated me. you will receive the same reward too. someday. 

你到底诚不诚心？！

我真的很想骂人。为什么我献出的是我的真心，反而别人却不懂得珍惜？而且还在我面前讲一套，在我后面又做另一套？你的目的是什么？是看我太单纯，所以想欺负我吗？别妄想！我太信任你了，以致你会这样！在我面前装我是你朋友，在我后面又说我的不是！别以为我不知！别告诉我这世间有太多巧合。不然为什么每当我们讲到某个话题令你不爽时，你一定会去推特更新你的状态？而且还是骂人的语气。难道这是时间上的巧合？你到底有没有把我当成是朋友啊？！ 难道你在利用我吗？这不是第一次，反而已经很多次了。我不是要怀疑你对我这位朋友的真心，但你的状态太巧合我们的话题了。我的意思是说像读后感一样。我真的很讨厌。我知道你那些状态肯定是与我们的话题有关，我只是不想揭穿你。我拜托你，有什么事可以当面讲吗？何必要鬼鬼祟祟，偷偷摸摸呢？你做错事了？！ 你再这样下去，很快的我们做不成朋友了！是你逼我的！再见！

R.A.N.D.O.M

hello blog! :) it has been almost a month ago since last time i have my blog updated. i have a lot of things to share with but i am lazy to open computer and sit down there updating my blog. i know i am hopeless. >,<
many things happened within the month of august and the first few days of september. for your information, i am now having zone B Pra SPM in school. together with arang road's, sungai maong's and green road's students. this trial exam is very important as the result can be replaced with our real spm if something happened to our real spm's exam paper. in short, i have to endeavour my best to score the best result i can! and i hope all of us who are sitting for this trial exam will obtain a nice aggregate too :) god bless! but i have done something which is hard for me to pass in my chinese papers, what for to say scoring that subject. because of my essay. i have written something which is out of topic :( i know it's very dangerous :( the only saviour that can save me from being failed. but now. :( may god bless me! first week of trial exam has gone. i hope i can score those subjects. thanks to those who shared the english and sejarah's tips with me, especially Joanne Teng and Eddy! those tips are very very very useful! thanks! strike forward to your SPM! god bless! all the best! xoxo. and those who shouted at me for not sharing tips with you, please be aware with what you have said. think before you leap. don't you know that? what for i share something with you when you treat me like a bullshit? i just had a few days writing essays continuously and i felt my finger have got no more energy. i had my shoulder pain too. last sunday to wednesday. oh my gosh. luckily i have applied some oil on my pain. otherwise. haix. last but not least, i have one important thing to share with! my gangs are planning to celebrate my birthday on 16th september 2013 at the spring shopping mall. sadly, i couldn't join. home managers' disallowed. after i told my gangs this reason, they start to plan again! some of them even decided to write another letter to my mum. they asked me to send the letter i have wrote to my mum but i have rejected their request as i feel very embarrased. now they even plan to send to my mum's email. i was like, ._. . their actions made me feel so touched. they have the heart to plan a celebration for me. and i feel very embarrased too. because they seems like if they didn't have help me to celebrate my birthday, they're going to die. :| i feel very paiseh.. :| i don't dare to go to schoon anymore as they keep on telling me how are they going to do it. haiya. no need la.  to be honest, you guys don't really have to plan on how to celebrate my birthday. don't waste time to plan. focus on your studies. put your best foot forward. all i need is we can stay together like now. and of course i hope our friendship will last longer till the end of our life. love you guys lots. xoxo.

Holiday Week

hey blogg! i am back. hehe.

well. 1st week of holiday has gone. over. woah. time dashes extremely fast without our noticing.

after tomorrow, we are going to enter the last week of holiday. /.\

to be honest, candidly, i have not enjoyed enough my holidays :(

all are about studying, doing house chores, movie, tuition :( what a busy holiday :(

but well it's gonna withstand for only a few months more! and after that i'm gonna be free!

before spm, i hope i can do something on my studies to show some improvement.

i am really don't want fail to myself. i don't want to be a futile person. seriously i don't.

you know? i have been thinking what i am gonna do next year at this moment.

i have been looking at adult, adolescence, children these few days when i gone out.

i was wondering how much salaries do they earn especially for the olders? what about me?

what will be my future job? how much income will i have? all these problems which keep me headache.

and if i have the chance, i don't want to go through it. we are getting older and older.

soon, we have to get a job to feed ourselves and our future family. all these need economy.

if you didn't save money since young, how are you gonna feed yourself when you're an adult?

do you think your parents will accompany you till your life end? NO! don't ever think that!

you have to earn money for your own. that's the reason children are taught to save pocket money since young.

woah. i hope i can pass my spm exam with flying colours. not necessary have to be straight a. i will just try my best!

god bless everyone of us! :)

不明不白－为什么－公道

为什么？为什么好人永远都难做？为什么好人一辈子都要被人家误会？为什么从来都没有人要去相信好人的话？心中有千万个为什么。我不是说我是百分之百的好人。因为这世界根本就没有百分之百的完美男或女人。可是每个人都有各自的优点与缺点。不是吗？我最不喜欢被人家误会。他们只会用嘴巴讲我在他们背后做过什么，讲过什么等等。偏偏就拿不出证据。他们只会在那儿说为什么要给受害者证据？为什么凡事都要讲证据？等等之类的问题。我真的不明白。为什么有证据就不要拿出来呢？那试问，我的公道在哪儿？难道要这样给你们去误会吗？难道就不能让我知道事实的真相吗？你们怎么可以那么不公平？那我这个人生出来不就是个废物？永远只能够白白地被人家欺负吗？我也有感受的好不好。你们不拿证据，我就拼命为自己辩解。我拼命为自己辩解，你们又不相信。好了。翻脸收场。你们以为我很喜欢和朋友吵架吗？你们以为我喜欢失去朋友吗？你们永远都不知道，当我失去你们的时候，我哭了。怨恨自己是不是真的做错了。为什么要闹到这个样子。为什么他们说有证据却不拿出来呢？为什么？我真的做错了吗？我不断回想是不是真的做错了。但很不幸的，我真的没有。我还甚至怨恨自己为什么把友情看得那么重要。才失去一位朋友就闹得要死一样？值得吗？我只想要有一个属于我自己的公道，这样也不行吗？试想一想，如果受害者是你，这样平白无故被人家责骂而且又不拿出证据，你会怎么样想？不公平，对吗？我真的不明不白。这些最会靠嘴巴责怪人的当事人脑袋是装什么的。我真的不喜欢被朋友抛弃。倘若你们想抛弃我，也要有理由和证据！这就是我的性格。凡事都要讲证据。凡事都要平衡。凡事都要有个公道。否则，对我太不公平了。

**请别对号入座。别胡思乱想。我不是在讲你或你。我是在讲学校的事情。不是补习也不是家人。

Class Photos 2013

hey blog. hmm.. it's now august. i don't know how to start off with my blog. so i will just upload class photos of pure and semi science 2013 :) let's drop some comments to tell me which one do you prefer the most and the least :) hehe. :) 

 

5 Setia
Boys and Girls
A class







   5 Jujur - B Class

 5 Cekap - C Class - Pure Science


 5 Amanah - D Class - Semi Science

  5 Ikhlas - E Class - Semi Science

okay that's all. i don't have art stream's. :) have a nice day :) adios :)

Stupid Moral Representation -.-

hey blog. how are you? i am greatly fine here =D 

SPM left only 3 and a half months >< i am still preparing >< hope i am able to finish studying them very soon :) 

praying hard everyday to god :) and of course i have to take some actionss :) 

blog, you know what? i am busy typing moral here -.- moral representation in class -.- 

i found out that typing something using words or excel is a knowledge too. very complicated :( 

i am still not used to words and excel :( grr.. 

moral representation? it means my group are going to teach that particular topic in class when it's our turn -.- 

and we are required to prepare the exercises based on our topic. teacher called it 'hands-out'.

we have to print up to 32 pieces as there are 32 students taking moral in my class @.@ 

wasting our papers! and we are not paid! i have no idea what kind of exercise to prepare especially spm questions. essay? structural?  

it's hard to make a decision >< but i think i will choose essay as i realised most of my classmates still couldn't understand the answering technique :) 

may god bless me when it's my turn to stand in front of the classmates and teacher >< 

i hope i am managed to transfer all the knowledge i have in my mind to every students in my class. 

hopefully they will understand what i am going to teach :) may god offer me his strength and power! :) 

and of course i hope when i am teaching, my classmates will keep quiet and pay attention :) may god be with me! :) 

Girl's Problemmmmmmm

hey blog. it's has been few weeks ago since i last updated my diary. it's July now. yeah. SPM left only 4 months. exact 4 months. i do not have much time left >< to be honest. well blog. i have been suffering a very long period pain for the 1st time. i have been suffering it for whole day. keep on floundering and praying to god. It's so damn painful until i wish i can die at once. The pain was like i am going to give birth naturally :| i couldn't even have the energy to walk, laugh and talk. that's feeling is so terrible, horrible and vegetable like what have my add maths teacher said. i know the reason why i have such adverse pain for the 1st time. last week. i was keeping on eating cold food nonstop. ice creams the most. i even brought honey drink to school on tuesday morning and drink. out of sudden, period came. in school. but i have period pain on wednesday. ONE WHOLE DAY. pain until i wanted to scold bad words :( 

(those pictures i copied describe my feeling when i have period.) 

FEELINGS OF THE WEEK

hey blog. how ya? malaysia is currently in a danger. haze. especially west malaysia. 

the reading of haze in west malaysia keep on rising up without decreasing. it's kind of worrisome though. 

anyway, everyone of us must be aware with our own health. 

one important thing we need to do right now is to drink more water to keep ourselves hydrated! take care everybody! :) 

okay. haze problem stop here. now, i am going to chide people! 

hey you! can you people stop finding me when you guys have problem that i cannot solved? 

you think it's fun to be ''middle people'' huh? 

both of you are my friends. and yeah both of you keep on quarrelling nowadays! 

after quarrelling, either one of you for sure will come and find me to backstab your friend while your friend is at her place. 

then when you're gone, the other one come and find me. backstabbing again. 

how am i going to help you guys? you think i like to gossip is it? -.- i don't even know how to solve the problems happening on both of you. 

i can say, solve it yourself. 

if one of you come and look for me again next time, i will say, each and everyone of us has our own positive and negative side. try to accept it. or you can choose not to care it. :)

next. bitch! stop sticking my friends and i like a chewing gum! 

you left us 1st, so what's the use for you to find us again? you think you're so good is it? you think we like you? 

hey stop daydreaming! we dislike you. we abhor you! abhor with your attitude. so fake! 

i have never seen a girl like you before! how dare you to be so fake?! 

and stop asking me to help you to convey message to your so-called-lover who you think he likes you! 

come on man! nobody in the school like you kay! especially those guys you have sticken before! and us!! don't forget that! 

i am done with your fake attitude. i hate talking to a fake people. i don't want to get myself affected by your words. some more it's so unlogically. 

everytime you tried to stick us, i ran away. because i do not want to talk to you! and we don't have any topic! unless we are forced -.- FORCED BY YOU, BITCH! 

i have never ever slap your face. but i wish i can. to wake you up! because you have reached my limits.  

i swear i am going to give you a slap or a big punch before the high school life end! i will! 

you deserved the slap!! i will slap you until you kneel down on the floor and apologize to us! 

how on earth can you exist in my life?! your religion never teach you not to be so fake huh?

-Untitled-

hey blog. i am at home today. didn't go to school . 

because of the 'pimple' on my eye pecah last night. it's bleeding. it happened suddenly when i touch it. 

okay it's painful . itchy. wanted to go visit doctor but it's late. 

this morning when i woke up, my eye is so itchy. cannot endure with the itchyness. so,i stayed at home. 

this is the 3rd time of the month i did not go to school . 1st was last wednesday. was having a severe cough. sore throat too. 

went to clinic at the crack of dawn to get medicine. 2nd time was yesterday. teacher's day celebration. i should have represented my class to go .  but i didnt. due to languorous lol .. 

went to baskin robbins last night after i found their wednesday promotion which surprised me. 

8 scoops of ice cream cost only RM 9.90 .  i was flabbergasted and of course i hope it's true. 

but disappointed me after i knew the offer was just mini scoops. total size of 8 mini scoops is the original size of one scoop ice cream..haixx. 

all i wanted to complain is not worth.. :( i would rather buy original size with original price.. frankly. 

you can take a look at this link for further information about the promotion. 

http://www.baskinrobbins.com.my/pinkbig.html  MUST WEAR PINK ONLY THEN YOU WILL GET THE OFFER ON WEDNESDAY! 

next time must go again =D but i won't buy happy 8 anymore. not worth buying it. i would rather buy my own flavours :P 

recently keep on busying with my studies. sometimes feel very lazy to touch my books . :| 

trying a new way on how to boost up every single subject :) i hope i can.. may god be with me all the time. .

christian songs are the best! loveeeee it! though there's a lot of songs being played at church during mass, i still couldn't remember their lyrics and titles :| how failed i am :|  

last but not least, pray that i can go to praise and worship concert on the upcoming 20 July! hope mummy will allowwwww. :)  everyone is welcomed to join too =D 

Random

Dear blog.. as usual. went to itc today.. teacher taught us a new poem. 

He Had Such Quiet Eyes - Bibsy Soenharjo 

though teacher has only explaint stanza one, but i feel like crying.. 

teacher's explanation spit out my feelings..so painful.. 

i don't know why on earth did i feel so pain since it's just explanations? 

maybe there's something i have not given up yet.. because i don't want to.. 

but what to do? :( oh lord.. please help me.. :( 

i hate this feeling... :( 

GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY :)

http://edition.cnn.com/2013/06/05/showbiz/paris-jackson-hospitalized/index.html

hey blog.

take a look at the link that i have copied here.

well. i was flabbergasted when i read the news. woah.

michael jackson's daughter tried to commit suicide by cutting her wrist.

15 years old girl. named paris jackson. this is might be a common case. but to me,it isn't.

how on earth can an adolescence try to commit suicide? you're still young man.

i know you have been through so much pressure after your dad's death. well. you have to be strong.

i guess your father who are now in heaven may not want to see his family living unhappily or try to do something because of his loss.

oh lord. i know that's super duper pain when you have lost any of your relatives. or i can say no word can be used to describe it.

anyway. hope you will stay strong. no matter what had happened, life still goes on.

live your life meaningfully. live it happily. may god bless you and your family :)

Seeee

Pimple growing on my eye -.- painfull !

Morning

Morning blog. I am off coloured. I feel sad and unhappy too. I am really hoping that our friendship won't end. But because of my mistakes,it ended. Oh lord. That's sad. I have been suffering from this pain. Why Why why? Why must I take friendship so seriously? Just a friend. And I feel like want to die. Why? What does friendship means? Can I Don't take it seriously? There are so many friends in the world. Come on Gwen. Cheers. What you need is time. Time can cure your pain. But frankly. Does time really can cure my pain? How much time do I need? I Don't know. I am not even dare to think about it. These few days feeling so down. Midnight dreams even worse. All are scary dreams. Dreams that I have never yearned for. It's vanished when mum woke me up. Candidly, I feel like crying everytime I think of our friendship. How on earth can it be destroyed by some minor mistakes?  I really can't believe what had happened to me and my friend. I have been thinking over and over again Just to find out my mistakes. Well. I found none. And I even think that does this friend have been enduring me for a moment? Why can't he or she Just confess it to me when I am wrong? Frankly blog. I really Don't want to lose this friend. I am really hope that our friendship won't end. I hope whatever had happened isn't true at all. All are fake. But sadly, No. All are freaking true. :(  this minor problem has been killing my one week holiday. I am really can't stand with it. It's hurt when you suddenly lose a friend because of misunderstanding..  :(

Blank intro

Hey you! It's Okay if you abnegate this friendship.  And I am sorry for what I have done. But frankly I didn't do it.  As what I have told you, I have no idea how to proof that I am clean and justice. Maybe time will help me to proof it. I Don't know what do you think of me. I mean do you think I will do something that have no benefit to  me? If you think I will, then you are wrong. I won't do anything that have No benefit to me. It's Okay if you keep on thinking that I have lied to you. Well, I know what I have done. Yeah I was involved. But I didn't enter that account. I dont even know what the hell was the email.  Don't say guessing the password. And all this happened two years ago. The conversation between me and my friend who hacked her account were only in Facebook and msn. We never talk about it in phone. I have deleted the conversation in Facebook two years ago. And I Don't know how on earth did you get the conversation? Since I have deleted. And Since when I have borrowed you my phone? Even if I have borrowed, you also can't do anything except gallery. There were No conversation about hacking. And you said you have the evidence, why cant you just show it to me? To proof that i am wrong since you said i lied. Come on. Think wisely. You weren't in chemistry tuition. And you choose to believe your friends But not me. I have to explain it again here. I was there lately. And someone snatched away my seats. I was standing there searching for seats. At the moment,I saw her. And she BEGAN laughing at me. Obviously she laughed at me because of I Don't have seats. I went to Last row and take a seat. When my friend entered the tuition, she laughed at my friend too. Okay.  You said your friends didn't give me a smack. Nvm! You said I lied on you. Then I can say your friends have lied to you too. Frankly. Well. Again I do not know how to proof it. Next reason. Hey. Is there anything wrong I make Friend? And you said I messed up your friends. I admit I added them. But not for now. After Chinese new year. I mean not friends anymore after cny.  Sorry if you said I have messed up your friends. Okay here are my explanations. Stop saying that i lie. You should have investigate first. It's Okay whether or not you want to listen. But I hope you will take this seriously. Think wisely. Think of my side whether or not I will do all these. I really appreciate this friendship and I have never done something that hurt you. I asked you whether or not I have done something wrong to you and you did not reply. Does this mean I did not do something wrong that hurt you? I guess. Conclusion you hate me because of you said i have done something to your friends.  You have ended the friendship.  I really hope you will think wisely.
Because It's really unfair to me. All these are Just misunderstanding.

你有本事就站出来与我对质！

喂！我知道你的部落格一定是在讲我。我只想说，你是什么人？讨厌我就当面告诉我。别只会躲起来写在你的网上日记。很胆小。你说，我哪里做错了？你是不是变了？即使我有错，难道你就不能告诉我吗？！你说我控制你了，我又何时控制你？！你说我不懂你朋友，随便讲她们，又何时啊？！你说我插入你生活，又何时啊？！我看你的部落格的心情，但我有问你吗？！我不问是因为我尊重你！我才没那么多时间去干扰你的心情！一切都与我无关！堂堂一个大男人越来那么胆小。你有本事就站出来吧！少了你我也可以过得很好。只是不知你会不会后悔。我没关系。我不在乎

YAHOOO!

Hey blog. i have just finished my semester 1 examination this morning. too happy for when the bell rang. finally i can rest for a while. yahooo XD well.. i am dead beat.. lack of sleep. exam time is very tiring though. not even a time for me to rest. i will be having holiday for two weeks. i hope i can manage my time properly. holiday plan: studying, hanging out, tuition, PLL. these are my plans. don't know if there's extra? hmm.. thinking of giving daph a surprise as her birthday is impending. but seems like my friend doesn't care about it. not sure yet. well blog. you know what?last sunday on 19 may 2013, there's go bald event held in city one shopping mall. sadly i didn't join.  :( but if i really went to have bald, i will be getting double demerit points :( because my schoolmates get caught by teacher during first exam paper of the day. i mean those who went bald. haix. isn't that a sad case? :L and yesterday. one of my schoolmate lost. no one know where have she gone to. kidnapped? eloped with her boyfriend? or? i don't know. hope she's fine. and my dear miss leong. please stop polluting my name on tuesday's class. you didn't know what is going on behind. you only know the cover. you will never know i was the one who helped joon ling. i help her doesn't mean my english is good. i just want to improve my grammar and also pronounciation. without me who have corrected her sentences, you will definitely laugh at her sentences that she have constructed. she can even use ''we is'' instead of ''we are''. do you know that? and don't simply pollute my name without evidence. it's hurt. going to prefect's night tonight! a dinner which i have been waiting for! hope it's fun and goes smoothly. hope no complains from any of the teacher. hahax. hope everyone of us will enjoy the night. hope i will meet some new friends albeit they are my juniors :) hehe :) the dinner will be held at hilton hotel. :)

What happened to me?

我是怎么了？

怎么这几天的我格外反常？

不停地发冷汗，全身不知什么感觉。

总觉得有东西在压着我，但我不知那是什么东西。

接着连续几个晚上不得好好安眠。

无数次地在半夜爬起来。

不晓得这一切的背后存着什么讯息呢？

难道是紧张考试吗？还是另有其事？

我也好累好累。眼睛很肿。腰要断。

总觉得我的身体不是我的。好像是我的身体在控制我。不是我控制它。

我到底是怎么了？有谁可以告诉我吗？

AWESOME FEELING! =D

hey blog. how have you been? i bet you're fine.

what about me? i am so not fine. many things happened in the month. that's bad and i know it.

well. exam is around the corner. i swear i will try my best to beat the rest. fighting! =D

hey blog. you know what? i felt the love from god yesterday.

or i can define it as holy spirit. i have no idea how to explain. google search yourself if you wish to know XD

i was sitting for sejarah paper 3 examination in school yesterday during school hours.

i forgot to bring my sejarah paper 3's guideline exercise book as i don't know that teacher will pick out topics from there.

all the questions in exam are exactly the same in the exercise book. i regret.

therefore, there's certain questions which i don't understand what does it mean .

it's open book test. a test where you can refer to your textbook, reference book, papers and so on.

as i do not understand the question and i couldn't get the answer from textbook, so what i have done is i copied any topic which i don't know whether it's related not from the textbook .

3 pages from textbook. kind of wasting time right?

then, for the kbkk questions. questions that we have to get the answer our own. but i couldn't think of any.

so, i decided to borrow the book from my exam neighbour . i mean during exam who sit next to me .

i borrowed the book from her and i was planning to look at the kbkk part only.

at first, i did not realise that those questions come out in the exam. only then i realised.

so, i flipped through the question and compare the answers. i was flabbergasted with the answers.

at the same time, out of the sudden, i felt myself very hot. perspiring. head a bit dizzy. feeling like i am sick.

i didn't care at 1st. because exam is much important than that.

on that moment, i only know god have reminded me to refer to the question that i don't know how to answer.

after that, i thought of something. last year's life in the spirit seminar.

during the seminar, my friend felt the same thing like mine yesterday.

it was healing session whereby god send down the holy spirit to each and everyone of us. i felt nothing during the seminar.

so, immediately i know that god has sent down the holy spirit to me! it's awesome!

if it wasn't the holy spirit, how come i will feel sick so sudden just right after i look at the questions?

really awesome! i will never forget this feeling! i hope i can feel it again next time!

i hope the next situation when god send down the holy spirit, i am screaming crazily and floundering when the people carrying me out!

god, thank you for everything! :) i love you! :) may you continue to bless each and everyone of us! :) amen.

第一次来月经，该怎么办？

女孩子到了一定年龄，每一个月都有一次子宫出血，称为月经，第一次来月经称为初潮，大多发生在13～14岁。近年来，初潮年龄有提前的趋势，有的女孩9～10岁就来月经。初潮以后，每隔一定时期行经一次，称为"月经周期"，这次月经来潮到下次月经来潮间隔的天数，一般是28～30天。但时间长短因人而异，从20～40天都算是正常的。每次行经持续流血4～5天左右。 

由于青春期卵巢功能还没完全发育成熟，所有初潮后月经可有一段时间不规律，半年至一年后才会有规律的行经。 月经量为50～60毫升，少的20毫升，多的可达100毫升。如果月经量太多，就应该去医院就诊。 月经期，有些女孩子腰酸、小肚子发胀、甚至肚子疼，同时有疲劳、发困、易激动等症状，这属于正常现象。但由于月经期抵抗力降低，加上子宫内膜脱落，子宫内有创口，加之经血冲淡阴道内的酸性分泌物，容易造成感染，所以经期一定要注意卫生： 
（1） 勤换月经垫。 
（2） 每天用温水擦洗外阴，洗澡不可盆浴，以免污水进入阴道，引起感染。 
（3） 大小便后，擦拭时由前向后，以免将肛门处的细菌带至外阴。 
（4） 少吃生冷或有刺激性的食物，如辣椒，酒等。 
（5） 多喝开水，保持大便通畅。 
（6） 保证充足的睡眠。 
（7）不要做激烈运动，不要从事重体力劳动，以免使盆腔充血，造成经血过多或月经延长，影响健康。 
（8） 避免受凉，尤其不要用冷水洗澡、洗脚，或坐在凉地上，因受凉会使血管收缩，产生痛经现象。 
（9） 保持乐观稳定的情绪。 

分班了。。。

我知道都在等待着什么，只是觉得心在受着煎熬。夏夏对我说，“别哭。”我说，“我知道，不哭。”

　　好像越长大越害怕分离了。教师节那天的下午，我们在操场上观看节目，瞬间所有的高二学生都站起来向后转身，夏夏眉头紧锁的说，“分班的名单到了。”顿时就觉得心凉了，整个人就垮了，再也没有心思看节目，早就知道分班是早晚的事，可是真得分班了，却惆怅了。

　　就像《最后一课》中那样，我们在一起学习的最后一天。班主任在讲台上修坏掉的椅子，班长突然喊了一句“起立”，我们不约而同地喊，“老师节日快乐”。班主任什么也没说，只是在讶异之后点点头。我似乎也能从他的脸上看到忧愁，那种不言一语的深沉，也许只是因为，他比我们每一个人承担的多太多。

　　教室里静了下来，班主任看着我们说，“今天是教师节，大家对老师最好的问候就是两点：第一，在今天提高学习效率，好好学习。第二，今天争取不要再扣班级量化分。”我和班主任唯一一次谈话是在昨天，谈到文理分科总是有些迷茫，他让我坚持自己的想法所以我毅然决然的选择了文科。

　　有人问我为什么哭，有人问我为什么哭，其实我也不知道，就是想哭，所以哭了。

　　今天中午妈妈来找我谈分科的事，我对她说，“如果你没有坚持让我选理我在一开始就会选择文科的，而且现在，我觉得考文比考理更有把握。”妈妈递给我午饭，她说，“是不是我给你压力了？”她盯着我，我赶紧低下头来，用手指划着车座，直到上面出现了一道又一道细纹。“没有，没给我压力，只是我决定学文了。”妈，你不知道，虽然我算不上刻苦，可是为了不让您失望，我是硬逼着自己学理的，刚开学那几天，我把精力全部放在理化生上。可是我觉得，老师说的对，我是为自己学的，应该有自己的主见。

　　最后的几天，我们都在等着最后的判决。似乎再坚强的人都会流泪，就像一棵棵快要被风吹断的小树，留下最后的不舍和伤悲。只要班主任一声下达，我们便要分开，去那些陌生的班级，认识一群陌生的人，也许还要做另一个陌生的自己。

　　人与机器最大的区别，就是人有了感情。人没有那么容易取舍，人也没有那么坚强。人若像机器一样存活，孤单寂寞也会让人变成机器。

　　我们从青春的年轮上走过，我们留下了什么？

　　有欢笑，有泪水，有友情，有师生情，还有那段历久弥新的记忆。

    山东泰安岱岳区英雄山中学高二:段元超

给我带来幸福的那个人

　阳光的灿烂不能改变我原本糟糕的心情，甜蜜的糖水不能改变我原本失落的情绪，无数的道理不能改变我原本失败的苦果。在新生活到来之际，原本值得欣喜的好事，在我的身上看不到光彩。我的希望早在无数年之前破灭。我再也找不回以前那份坚持，那份信心。

　　原本已是注定结局却因为你的出现而发生了奇迹！

　　这个奇迹不是偶然的，那是我人生必须面对的，你的出现改变了我原来已经灰色的生活。他是一个原本就老实的男孩儿，个子比我高个头，身材很苗条，他的一个信念：“是福不是祸，是祸躲不过。”就因为这个信念他一直很开心的过着。他可真得算是一个开心果，无论别人在生气，伤心。他总能改变他的心情，他的那张嘴特甜。你最特别的地方是他圆圆的脸蛋儿和心型的头发，他的外表特可爱。他是仁寿人有着家乡的口音让不熟悉他的人认为很难相处，但是他没有因此而孤立自己，而选择了给别人时间去适应，去接受他。他为人特别重义气，只要兄弟有难必定拔刀相助，义不容辞。也是个不记仇的人，所以在他的身边有很多的朋友。

　　他出现在我身边的那时是4月3日，据今天已经是整整的八个月。在这八个月里他教会了我什么叫开心的时候尽情的开心，伤心的时候一定要使劲的发泄出来，让我真正感受到了什么叫幸福！什么叫开心！（发自内心的笑）在他的身上我看到自己的缺点，我发现了自己的孤独，这时我才真正的觉悟，其实我原本也是一个开心的女孩儿。其实我笑起来也可以让人亲近。从这时，我的生活在一点一滴的改变。

　　让我从严肃变得爱笑，从失落变得坚强，从跌倒重新站起来。让我对未来充满希望和憧憬。这时我才真正感受到真的很幸福！他总能在我伤心的时候第一时间出现来安慰我；总能在我跌倒的时候第一时间出现来扶起我；总能在我需要的时候第一时间出现来帮助我！

　　“我告诉他，如果有一天世界变了，没有你在我身边我还觉得不知所措呢？”他只是笑笑告诉我，“傻瓜，你应该学会自己照顾自己，因为只有自己才是永恒的支柱。无论世界怎么变，我们的心会永远在一起，你一定要学会坚强的活下去。”我哭了，只想告诉他，我们都要坚强的活下去！因为我们已经习惯的有着对方的日子。

　　我们一起创造未来幸福的生活，不离不弃！

　　——相信我们会创造奇迹！

    高二:唐晓雪

一种悲伤，痛苦，另一种快乐

这可以是日记也可以是小说，所有的无名氏。

　　已经记不清那天的天气怎样了，因为那天的样子已经仿佛隐匿在冬季蒙蒙而浓浓的雾里了，不像你们呵出的一口白气，瞬间融在冰冷潮湿的空气里，而是这片雾被永远做成了一页标本，夹在无法翻到的那一页。

　　所有人的喜悦，都好像蓄势待发的烟火，华丽溢于言表。空气里明显的嗅得到未来的气息，因为那绝对是毋庸置疑的快乐。时间变成另一个问题。四四方方的教室是承载的容器，冷冷冰冰没有任何感情，依附在上面的没有重量的气球，活得比浮游还短暂。悬在半空的彩条，招摇着，随着微微腐化的空气，轻轻飘荡。陈旧的墙壁，剥离风蚀的外皮。就在这里小Q给我一种悲伤一种痛苦，像浮着一层厚厚的油的开水，明明很烫，却看不到翻涌的水汽，你把它泼在我身上，滋滋的声音，是油死死贴着我的皮肤，不得饶恕。

　　锐利的风，对，那天像刀一样锐利的风，从窗冲撞进来。我趴在床边，摊成一潭死水，我像泉眼，不断往外冒出悲伤，先是很热，腾腾热气迎面扑来，然后很冷，所有的汗像细小的针，死死地塞进我的每一个毛孔，寒气缠绕盘旋。手臂下的笔记本被浸湿，一个个浅黄的水渍，嘲讽着我的软弱。我在微微发抖，抑制不住的发抖，苍白色的指甲，我努力的把它刺进我紧握的掌心。我在被迫品着一种痛苦，类似于背叛的痛苦。我恍若听到C对小Q的斥责，十分的遥远牵引着我的听觉越飘越远，意识朦胧了，多想就这样哭下去，没有尽头，被北风打落成余香犹存的梅花瓣，落入风雪中。

　　整个下午，我度过它，想捏着一块冰，难得融化，小Q，你的那句话就在那一下午，真的好像抽取了我的灵魂，我真的觉得自己好像Y那样，把这些看得太重了，重的连自己的心都握不稳。

　　快乐坠落深渊，绽放难以言语的华丽，我们终于又站一个时间段的末尾了。我真的好不容易咽下的痛苦，把我的肚子撕裂的隐隐作痛。幸福，不，还称不上幸福，那只是一种临时的快乐，跑龙套的快乐，表演结束你们再一次给我痛苦还有悲伤。我看着你们，站在我的对面，冷冷的站在我对面，和寒风一样，冷冷地看着我，围着我，L、Z，你们真的好陌生，。所以，你们在伪装，你们是演的以前的熟悉还是演的现在陌生，我不知道我的腿是不是在颤抖，不知道是因为冷还是害怕？虚弱的靠在墙壁上，看一个人因为一个人变得不一样，另一个人因为一件事变得脆弱。C疲惫地看着我，好像被夜色沥干的脸上充满了无奈，复杂的情绪，她说想要帮我，我就在那一刻我觉得人生至少还不是那样糟糕，在茫茫的陌生的地方，还有一撮微弱却温暖的火苗给我依靠，其实有你的这一句话，不管你最后怎样做，我都不会再去怨言你什么，至少，你有那样想过，为我这个不相干的人、事，略微的那么思考过。

　　夜，深了，再绚烂的宴会也有死去的时候，破碎的尸体来收拾我们，满地的碎屑，好像细细碎碎嘲讽的语言，数不尽的悲哀。我再一次回到那个位置，趴在上面，闭着眼睛，看着眼前的黑暗，低低啜泣，任残余的快乐逝去，曾经的人都陌生了吧，以后，都不会说一句话了吧，这样，真好。是谁疲惫地替我说出呢？？

　　一群女生总是敏感些，围在我旁边，认真的猜测那个罪魁祸首。W和D温柔的轻轻的拉着我的衣角，试探着安慰我。呵，再怎样，也总有人不会陌生吧？

　　你们，给我一半悲伤一半幸福，还有所有的麻痹。

　　不要忘了，懦弱的我，只会认清对我好的人，不会报复其他的人，因为我没有能力。我记住你们，我也忘记你们，不知道是你们的好还是不好？

　　那一天，没有结尾，被人生生掐去了结尾。

    高二:爱普利俄阿德斯

爱，是永不消逝的

　　2008年2月17日，她“自私”的在那一天悄然无声的撒手离开了我们，而给我们留下的仅仅是不为人知的痛。

　　看到这组日期，回忆便像潮水般涌上了心头，记得在外婆去世前的那天晚上，还沉溺在甜甜的睡梦中的我，被依稀的哭泣声所吵醒，我揉着惺忪的睡眼，渐渐看清了，趴在我床头已经哭的泣不成声的女人，那便是——我的母亲，我被惊得突然从床上坐了起来，捧起母亲那张挂满泪水的脸，心疼的望向她那双因哭泣而充满了些许血丝的眼睛，问道，妈！你怎么了？发生什么事了？母亲没有说话，只是将头依偎到我的肩膀上，抱着我，默默地流着泪，我透过门缝看去，也只见父亲正踱着碎步在客厅里满是思绪的抽着烟，烟雾早已笼罩了他的脸庞，让人已浑然看不清他脸上的表情，那时的我似乎已经意识到了某件事情的发生，可还是不愿往那一面去想，最后，母亲终于哽咽着对我说，我刚刚接到你舅舅的电话他说…他说，你外婆由于手术失败已经走了……其实我已经听清母亲所说的话，可我还是不敢相信的问她，走了？什么走了？她去哪儿了？母亲终于再也忍不住的放声哭起来，走了，你外婆因为手术失败去世了，她以后都不会再回来了！那时的我顿时像只被雷击中了的鸡，一动不动的坐在那里，当泪水也不知何时流下滴到了我的手上时，我才恢复了清醒的状态，确定这件事情是已经发生了的事实，我低头看向哭得像孩子一样无助的母亲，更加心疼不已，眼泪像断了线的珍珠般往下掉，那时，心里除了有失去外婆的哀痛，也有了让我以后要保护妈妈，不再让她流泪的念头，将心比心啊…只想着妈妈没有了妈妈的疼爱，所以以后我要更爱她。因为过去的我是那么的不懂事，那么一味的自私，无论做什么事从来都不曾考虑她的感受，当我还沉静在这些思绪当中时，爸妈已经匆匆忙忙的准备出门前往医院去见外婆临终前的最后一眼了，我赶紧的光着脚丫，跑到他们的身边对他们说了，我也想要去见外婆的打算，可最终，他们并没有能够让我如愿，因为当时已经是深夜，而明天的我还要早起去上学。可谁又能知，那夜，我注定无眠。

　　天色终于渐渐亮了起来，我第一次觉得等待黑夜过去是如此的漫长！看着枕头上的大片泪迹，揉了揉哭肿了的眼睛，就赶紧上学去向老师请假，参加外婆的葬礼了…那天，天空中有些冷雨在飘飞，虽然天气不是很冷，但我却感觉到了一丝丝的凉意。妈妈已经没有了力气，在旁人的搀扶下，一步一步向着殡仪馆走去。我拖着沉重的步子很吃力的往前走，但不知道这就是一个尽头。我的泪水已经迷糊了我的眼睛，一脸茫然的在这条路上寻找着这最后的回忆，重温往日的亲情。当见到屏风后的外婆，一直静静的躺在那儿，知道她再也不能对着我微笑，再也不能在我耳边给我像小时候那样讲他们那个年代的故事的时候，一时间全身的所有悲伤情绪主宰了我，我终于放声痛哭了起来，曾一度有过认为哭得大声，躺在那儿的人就会回来的可笑念头。那一瞬，只觉得天昏地暗。

　　看着一点一点被推进那个火炉中将要承受剧烈疼痛的你，过去那一幕幕温馨的画面，就又如电影放映般映入我的眼帘，外婆，你知道吗？往日里，你的目光落在我的背上，其实那是我雨天里的阳光；往日里，你的微笑洒在我的身上，其实那是我成功的力量；往日里，你那份豁达，其实那使我学会宽容……我不敢再往下想下去，我仰望着天，长长的两行泪，在我两腮滑落了。我知道此时分别就意味着永远的分开了，但我相信外婆对我的爱却永远都不会被这一层黄土所隔绝……

　　只要是因为爱，什么都敢做，因为爱能战胜一切，尤其是恐惧，我认为，只有这样才算是真正的活过，我敢，你们敢吗？

    高二:周南希

带走曾前的微笑，留下我今日的坚强

　　“唉！我也不隐瞒你们了，告诉你们这个真相吧！这学校不办了。那校长已经把这学校卖出去了。要办一所公立学校……”静静的轻轻的教室突然轰响起来。“老师，愚人节过了。”“啊，真的吗？这太……“这是真的，前几天哪几个家长来闹了的，就在小学部那边……”叽叽喳喳的声音震碎了夜的宁静。静的同学有的低着头默默沉思；有的则不信的呆望着老师；还有的在左顾右盼聆听其他人的对话；闹的同学有的破口大骂；有的则直追问着老师；还有的在自言自语嘀咕些什么…

　　那晚，我们都得到了肯定的答案，这无情却极有力量的消息浓浓的闷在这看似无边际却容积娇小的脑海。学校不办了，这意味着分离与割舍，正如自己正生活在美满的家庭中，却突然间将必须要换去自己父母般的荒唐与痛苦，有哪个孩子愿意啊？风，无止的刮着。夜，无尽的黑着。月，也无情的冷着。“舍不得啊！本想教到你们至初三，就尽了我最后一届教的初中生涯，去教高中了，想不到这么快就，唉！还教不完你们了，这学校怎么也得等这学年过了再办手续啊，这偏偏中途。。。。。”语文老师的话在耳边回响。哭？这陌生的词隐隐约约浮现出来。。。。。。泪，这不该在男儿眼角出现的液体朦朦胧胧偷偷溜出了一点儿在眼眶里徘徊，我用力的眨了眨眼，硬生生的把它们赶了回去，不知不觉中就沉沉的睡了去……

　　到教室，只见老师坚定的脸上红红的眼眶里时不时闪着泪光。嘴里不断指责着校长的错举，抱怨着权威的不平，诉说着坚持留下来！愿我们好好读，学校垮了，但我们没有，将来我们做了官，一定不能像他那样，为钱，不为学生的学业考虑……平日里比较调皮的学生此刻却异常慷慨的骂着，但大多数同学还是保持着那份令人心酸的沉默，那空气中快乐的原子分子似乎一点儿也没敢融进这间宽敞的教室。讲课，老师讲的很好，那种因有人没听懂而毫不思考停下脚步解释、作图、说明、又接着问“听明白了吗？”的执着，令我听懂了她这节课教的所有知识，其他同学都很认真的样子，应该也和我一样听懂了吧。就算是以前有其他老师听课的课，也远远没有这一节课好。它虽没有听课时上课的拘束，却仍有比听课时还认真精神的学生，而听课时的老师也没有这老师如此真诚的关怀与讲解的仔细。这，可是师生共连的的信念的力量啊！接下来的课程一如既往的安排，课比起以前却总犹有过之，老师那抑扬顿挫和深沉有力的声音平日里都能震散我睡意的声音，现在却怎么震也震不散我哀伤的情绪，无止尽的哀伤……

　　几天后，我转学了。闷闷的车上空空的坐着我与爸爸，临别时老师依依不舍的话语久久地回荡在耳边，哭了，男儿有泪不轻弹？我不管那么多了！喉咙间那上不去下不来的酸涨，使我不由自主的轻轻的抽咽着，那调皮的泪水只在眼角一热，便拥挤在在眼睛里的每一个角落。缓缓闭上眼睛，心里不断地念着：“对不起，老师，我能怎样？父母们的选择我又何尝愿意？我只能随着他们的指使走完我这身注定要走的路。身为一个差班生来到其他学校，我内心欢喜吗？不啊！您养育了我们，没看着我们一个个快乐的相聚在一起开毕业晚会，答谢您，祝福您，却眼睁睁的看着我们一个个转校离您而去，留下来的只是一张张惨白的纸上的一串串单调的数字，对不起，老师……”

　　不敢去回望那母校的身影，怕留下太多太多的怀念，但她，却已经永永远远的印在了我的心里。同伴的呼唤，老师的教导，甚至是独自在树下玩树叶…脑海里浮幻着母校里曾发生过的欢声笑语，师生情意。但，都已成为了过去……

　　嗡嗡发响的车正带着我向另一个神秘的地方驶去，那儿又将是如何的一个世界呢？又将如何接续我这残断的学习生涯？就这样颓堕自甘的去面对吗？不，不能，无论再是怎样的环境，也要全力的去奋斗！为了什么？就为了修补这残缺的人生，就为了补贴这半路停留的不平，就为了演绎出一个精彩的自己！

　　即已离开了你，那请带走我曾前的微笑，留下我今日的坚强！

    高二:败尘

感动是一种能力

　　感动最望文生义最平直的解释就是——感情动起来了。你的眼睛会蒸腾出温热的霞光，你的听觉会察觉远古的微响，你的内心像有一只毛茸茸的小松鼠越过，它纤细而奔跑的影子惊扰你思维的树叶久久还在曳动。你的手会不由自主地出汗，好像无意中捡到了天堂的房卡，你的足弓会轻轻地弹起，似乎想如赤脚的祖先一般迅跑在高原…… 　
　　感动的来源是我们的感官，眼耳鼻舌身加上触觉和压觉。如果封闭了我们的感官，就戮杀了感动的根，当然也就看不到感动的芽和感动的果了。感官是一群懒惰的小精灵，同样的事物经历多了，感官就麻痹松懈了。现代社会五光十色瞬息万变，感官更像被塞进太多脂肪的孩子，变得厌食和疲沓。如今人渐渐丧失了感动的能力，感动闪现的瞬间越来越短，感动扩散的涟漪越来越淡。因为稀缺，感动变成了奢侈品。很多人无法享受感动，于是他们反过来讥讽感动，谄笑感动，把感动和理性对立起来，将感动打入了盲目和幼稚的泥沼之中。 　
　　感动是一种幸福。在物欲横流的尘垢中，顽强闪现着钻石的瑰彩。当我们为古树下的一株小草决不自惭形秽，而是昂首挺胸成长而感动的时刻，其实我们想到的是人的尊严。我上小学的时候，在一次考试中，得到了有生以来最差的分数。万念俱灰之时，我看到一只蜘蛛锲而不舍地在织补它残破的网。它已经失败了三次，一次是因为风，一次是因为比它的网要凶猛百倍的鸟，第三次是因为我恶作剧的手。蜘蛛把它的破坏者感动了，风改了道，鸟儿不再飞过，我把百无聊赖的手握成了拳。我知道自己可以如同它那样，用努力和坚忍弥补天灾人祸，重新纺出梦想。我也曾在藏北雪原仰望浩渺星空而泪流满面，一种博大的感动类似天毯，自九天而下裹挟全身。银河如此浩瀚，在我浅淡生命之前无数年代，它们就已存在，在我生命之后无数年代，它们也依然存在。那么，我的存在又有什么意义呢？在这个惶然的瞬间，我被存在而感动，决心要对得起这稍纵即逝的生命。 　
　　我喜欢常常感动的女人，不论那感动我们的起因，是一瓣花还是一滴水，是一个旋动的笑颜还是一缕苍老的白发，是一本举足轻重的证书还是片言只语的旧笺……引发感动的导火索，也许举不胜举，可以有形，也可以是无所不在的氛围和若隐若现的天籁。感动可以骑着任何颜色的羽毛，在清晨或是深夜，不打招呼地就进入了心灵的客厅，在那里和我们的灵魂倾谈。 　
　　珍惜我们的感动，就是珍惜了生命的零件。在感动中我们耳濡目染，不由自主地逼近那些曾经感动过我们的灵魂。也许有一天，我们也在无意间成了感动的小小源头，淙淙地流向了另一个渴望感动的双眸。 　
　
美点赏析 　
　　　　感动，感情动起来，多么直白朴实的解释。从什么时候起我们封闭了自己的感官，切断了自己感动的心弦，变得冷淡、冷漠？ 　
　　感动是一种心态。当你对美丽视而不见时，你感受不到春天小草萌生的新芽，你感受不到夏天朵朵灿烂的葵花向日，你感受不到秋天累累硕果压枝低，你感受不到冬天晶莹的雪花飘舞。能被感动，是一种心态，拾起感动，我们的心便不再枯涩。感动使我们变得清纯率真，变得清洁明亮，变得丰富广博。 　
　　感动是一份热情。作者说：“我喜欢常常感动的女人，不论那感动我们的起因，是一瓣花还是一滴水……”是啊，只要你还能被感动，你就不至于丧失良知和天性，你就会充满激情地去面对明天那轮崭新的太阳。 　
　　感动是一种回归。生命无处不在，却又是非常短暂的，如白驹过隙，稍纵即逝，然而生命又在广阔的空间中占据了每一个角落。可喜的是，我们是生命中的一员，得以存在；可悲的是，我们终要离去。所以，我们不必去思考生命缘于何、止于何，只要正视我们拥有的时刻，握一缕阳光，感动于它普照万物；吸一口空气，感动于它支持苍生；拥一捧清水，感动于它是生命之源。 　
　　毕淑敏的文章耐人咀嚼，篇幅不长，但对人的内心却是一种触动，使人陷入长久的深思之中 

成长是一种幸福

成长是一种幸福

临泽县鸭暖学区曹庄小学五年级  田学伟

　　我们终归要长大，带着一种无悔的心情悄悄地长大。归根到底，成长是一种幸福。
　　成长是一道坎，一道关，但是成长就是这样，你得接受这个世界带给你的所有，然后无所谓惧的长大。
　　四年级的时候，第一次我参加了大队委员的竞选，那时的我无所畏惧，但是结果却是我没有选上，我难过了很久，那一次之后，我对做干部是没有什么奢望了，我想，只要读书好，当不当干部又有什么关系呢。
　　直到五年级，当老师把我叫到办公室，问我愿不愿意尝试竞选大队委员时，我脱口而出：“我愿意!”事后我惊讶于自己的果断，也许潜意识里我根本就没有对它所失望过。
　　第二次，我站在了竞选的舞台上，曾几何时，我那么的充满自信，甚至盛气凌人，而这一次，或许因为前一次的失败，我退却了，在演讲时忘了词，我望着整个教室的人，扪心自问，我到底怎么了，刹那间，泪水盖过了眼眶，只听见尖利的噪音一阵阵的朝我袭来，我跑下讲台，无言以对!
　　回到家后，我躺在床上，心想，也许我真的不适合吧，他们有他们比你强的地方，每个人的强项都是不一样的，拿自己的弱项去拼别人的强项，不是自找苦吃吗？我安慰自己道，我渐渐平静下来。细数自己经历的过程，从小到大，很多事情，我都抱着玩玩的态度，这也导致了很多事情的都做不好。唯一的写书法这件事，打心眼里，我是不喜欢的，可是掐指算来，寒暑交替，已经有四个年头了。这四年里，若不是妈妈一直逼着我，我恐怕也早已放弃了。
　　不!我站起来，对着自己说，你不能再退缩了!你不能在害怕了!鲁迅先生说过：“坦途在前，人又何必因为一点小障碍而不走路呢？”贝多芬说过：“卓越的人一大优点是：在不利与艰难的遭遇里百折不饶。”
　　第三次我满怀希望，饱含信心的又一次参加了竞选，这一次，我既没有过度了骄傲，也没有了先前的退缩，当我站在讲台上时，听见下面有人小声说：“怎么又是他啊？大概又想被淘汰吧。”我听后只是微微一笑，镇定自若的演讲起来，我没有说错一个地方。等待的过程往往是漫长的，在等待结果的近二十分钟里，我不断的对自己说：“你已经做到最好了，不管结果如何，你已经很成功了。”当听到大队辅导员报到，我听到心里的某一处被咔嚓一声打破了，那是一直以来的懦弱与退缩，这是瞬间瓦解了。
　　我成功了!
　　如今我已经在大队委员这个职务上了，回想起我为此付出与获得，在“人”这个庄重的字中，那一撇是成长，那一捺是成功。
　　而我在不知不觉间悄悄的成长了，如今的我是幸福的，我不再害怕失败，不再对未知的事退缩，在成长的道路上，我越挫越勇，我想，我真的是长大了，带着一种无悔的心情悄悄地长大了。
　　成长真的是一种幸福! 

     （指导教师：王海霞）

学习是一种享受

学习是一种享受

    学习是一种享受，在课前学会预习，靠自己的能力，理解获得知识对于如饥似渴学习的人再好不过。从预习中可以训练我们毅力，让我们学会自主学习，自己亲自实践得到的结论才会令我们更满意，更加有信心，面对再多的难题，认认真真的把家庭作业完成，然后看看书，还可以选择痛痛快快的玩一场，但是现在必须进入紧张的复习状态，虽然有压力，但取得了好成绩，感受到成功的喜悦，那些压力更无影无踪，无法形容那种轻松。

    老师布置作业多一点时总能听到那么几声抱怨，时间的紧促，有抱怨那几分钟可以完成一道题了。无论现实是好是坏，是成是败，总之一句话，勇敢面对就好，既然踏出第一步，就继续勇敢向前迈出第二步，第三步，第四步……选择了这条路，就不要后悔，不要抱怨，因为它会丧失斗志，学习是无可逃避的现实，一切抱怨都没用，保持良好的心态，哪怕强迫自己认为：学习和玩游戏一样有趣！

    在玩游戏的时候我们会因面对一个个强大的对手而绞尽脑汁，而在取得一次次的升级时我们心中又会无比自豪。当我们得到一件属于我们的宝贝时，我们会很高兴！当我们遇到难题向老师请教，同学帮忙解决，获得一点进步，得到老师的夸赞表扬，争得荣誉时，我们会很高兴！

    其实学习本身就是一种乐趣，必须宽点，往远方眺望，它也是一种久违的享受。

    即使再苦再累，浸透了汗水的花儿总会结出丰硕的果实挂满枝头，想想美好的明天，自己一点一滴争取的进步，难道心中不会充满动力？在思路受限制，想很久，忽然茅塞顿开，峰回路转，那不也是一种享受？想象有朝一日，待到“柳暗花明又一村”时，能有同学也来向自己请教问题时，不也很令我们自豪、激动，不也是一种享受吗？

    内在看出学习实在很有趣，只不过是我们每个人在无意中忽视了它，而唉声叹气，埋怨不公。

    有人这样评价张勇：“他就喜欢玩！不是好学习。”玩是儿童的天性，学习是学生的天职。当我们到了上学适机，必须告别玩，告别天天的自由，凭什么？就凭为你自己，凭你还没有掌控自己命运的能力，凭你是孩子，你必须接受，而且要怨言，无条件接受。到了学校，有这样那样无聊烦锁的规距，上课不许说话，不许吃东西，不话乱跑，每天都有一堆写不完的作业，每次都要面临大大小小的考试，面对陌生老师严厉的面孔……我们一天天的长大，我们一天天变得强大，便开始反抗，仿佛我们眼中除了点滴的欢乐之外剩下的只是叛逆，家长和老师就像独裁专制的资本主义压迫者一样逼我们考高分、学这学那，可曾替我们想过，它在我们肩上是压力、负担，我们害怕面对，选择逃避、隐藏。学会虚伪、怨恨，把所有的怨统统抛洒学会报复，我们讨厌这一切不公，但我们也在重复，活在自己的“隐”中，和自己作对。

    可是，你试过静静的享受所拥有的一切吗？慢慢尝试喜欢学习的时候，会发现，其实，它并不是我们想象中的那么难，而是一种失去很久的乐趣，一种享受。

    当我们从一个个无知的孩子成长为一个出口、谈吐不凡的成熟青年时，我们不能忘却曾授于我们知识，教导我们如何做人的恩师，我们学会做人，看待大千世界，学会一技之长，生命则更加的精彩；而我们选择另一条路却每天重复同样的事，直到生命枯萎那天。学习可以陶冶情操，塑造人格，丰富生活等。

    既然学习有那么多益处，我们又有什么理由不热爱学习呢？虽然求学之路会很苦很累，但当知识越来越多，我们便会真实体会到自己在团体、社会中是存在价值的，学习是享受，享受是快乐、幸福、充实的，其中的价值还要靠自己的努力去体会、去发现。

    如果不去尝试你怎么知道自己注定失败？每个人的潜力是无限的，要知道，过去并不等于未来。所以，不要在乎别人怎么看你？首先要相信自己，努力奋斗，明天只能靠自己去拼搏！

    每天让自己进步一点，你会发现世界变大了一点，你的内心会富足而充实，生命又精彩了许多，……这一切都是汗水的果实，这样的收获每天都有，正因为日积月累，才创造出独特的你自己。

    所以，何不把学习当成一种享受，把静当作一种享受，把生活当做一种享受，而不是负担，把离别当一种享受，把爱当作享受，把回报、付出当作一种享受，把一首竟境优美的歌当享受，把夜下聆听静雨当享受，把淡泊的人生当一种享受……何必在乎拥有整个大千世界！

束缚也是一种爱

车轮对方向盘抱怨说：“你为什么总是控制着我呢，不给我一点自由！”

　　方向盘温柔的说：“如果我不控制着你，你就会走上邪路的……”

　　看似简单的两句话，其中的道理却不小。

　　当我们的家人像方向盘一样在为我们好时，我们就像轮胎一样在抱怨。

　　希望小学一年级：誓言的束缚

醉雨清明

    　　“清明时节雨纷纷，路上行人欲断魂。”每到清明时，我们总会准备着回老家去祭奠已逝去的祖辈。伴着蒙蒙细雨，踏着泥泞山路，一步一个脚印的来到他们的身边，说出对他们的思念，道出对他们的祝愿。整个过程看起来像是按了放慢键，静静的，没有急躁，没有世俗的纷扰，一切都是那样的寂静，仿佛与这山间的树木、鸟虫，甚至是坟头融为了一体。我们感到庆幸，因为先祖们还留守在这最后一片净土之中，与山做友，与土相濡以沫，伴风而舞，和雨为歌。

　　前两年，家人替太祖父母重修了坟头，修建了水泥墙，这是为了希望他们在地底下过的更安稳一些，不因外界因素而破坏了他们的栖息之地。可是，他们真的这么认为吗？也许，他们会为自己的子孙有了能力而高兴，可更多的不是可惜么？他们不再有机会直接和自然接触，不能再与周围的同辈更好地交流，也许他们就此孤独了。我无法妄意去揣测先辈们的想法，毕竟人已逝去，再也无法换回。

　　此时此刻，让我不禁想起了前不久我们学校发生的那起高三学长跳楼自杀的命案。正值青春美好年华的他，就那样毅然决然的爬上六楼，在寂静的夜晚，划出生命的抛物线。今年清明，对于他的父母来说，才是最悲痛的吧。

　　他静静地躺在地底，细数着这十八年来的回忆，他会不会有一点点后悔呢？他的父母在面对他的死亡时，也会不会去反思他们的过错呢？我不知道，也不想知道。毕竟这世界上，每天都有人在死去，我们不可能天天为他们哀叹，可惜。我只想以此来告诫还活在这世上的人：珍爱生命。

　　他醉了，醉在这清明的细雨中；他累了，累得只能躺在地底，听人们的声音。接受千家飞幡的祭典。

　　我走在这雨中，感叹着天地的魔力，因为无论何时，我们总与他们同在。

    高二:路过啦

读书是一种享受

读书如品茶，似喝酒，若弹琴，像下棋。读书是一种享受，一种乐趣。戚继光有句名言：“养心莫若寡欲，至乐无如读书。”读书的乐趣只有沉浸其间，方可体味得出其中滋味。 　
　　今天我看了一篇母亲教育儿子的文章，很让人感动，不得不惊叹这位母亲的伟大。第一次考试后。儿子的老师叫去父母，说他的儿子考的是全班最低的，很可能是智力有问题，母亲听了很失望，但是他回到家看到儿子的眼神，却对儿子说：“老师说你很聪明，只是做作业慢了点，你改正这个毛病后，一定会有进步！”儿子听了眼睛闪着光芒，从此儿子更勤奋了，第二次考试后，老师又叫母亲，虽然有了提高，但还是很差，这回母亲也没泄气，回家告诉儿子说：“老师说你很有进步！”儿子听后更加有信心，也更加勤奋了，儿子就这样读完了小学，初中，最后竟然考上了重点高中，最终考取了理想的大学，后来儿子对母亲说：“妈妈，其实每次你从学校来，我都知道情况，是你的鼓励成就了我！”正是母亲对儿子的信心成就了他。 　
　　这就是说，不管别人对自己的孩子是否有信心，作为父母，首先要对自己的孩子充满信心，有了信心，才能有自尊，也才能自强。那么我们老师又该怎么办呢……？

收藏：读书是一种享受

是一种自觉不自觉

人是非常奇妙的，故乡是永难忘却的。最让人动情的地方往往又最能产生奇妙的乐章。那么，回到故乡则成为每个生命神奇的必须和愉悦激动的唯一。 　
　
　　 　
　
　　二 　
　
　　 　
　
　　长久以来，许是生活在一个古老农业大国的缘故，故乡一词，便成了至朴、淳厚、愚昧、落后、近似原始生存地的代名词，之中虽然也不乏古老的遗训，纯善的真情，至美的山川风光。回望故乡往往是在领略尽繁华城市的喧嚣烦琐、现代文明的无聊虚假、忙碌生活的劳累之后一种腻烦疲惫与空寂的自然需求。所以，若穿戴着锦衣高冠回望故乡，那只是一种浮浅的做作，矫情的自慰，其心魂定然是不会颤抖的。能真正迈着沉重而急切，踏实而慌乱，熟悉而陌生的步履走进那个遥远记忆、熟悉乡音的游子，才可能懂得什么是生命的必然与必须，起初与终结，平庸与崇尚。一个生命的高大与渺小的分野也往往藏匿于此。 　
　
　　故乡是丰厚博大深沉的一个世界，任何高妙绝伦的丽词画笔琴音都不可能将其全部精妙绘出弹唱。它的风是驰张有度、疏密无间的泼墨神韵，还未等你准备好纸墨笔砚，它已在不知不觉中浸入你的五腑六脏，搅乱了你的心智情海。它的雨更是无声的润物纯乳，其缕缕清香在浑身舒坦之后方可嗅到。它每条弯曲的小道是吐信的柔滑长蛇，有无尽的魔法把你诱惑得一步赶一步进入它的内脏而茫然失措又心满意足。小道上的每块冷硬的石块，时不时的会绊你惊醒：脚下的生活才是真真实实的生活。你对它恼怒愤慨了，它无言不作声；它对你热情洋溢，待你要痴心相倾时，却又是冷面淡颜。回望故乡，你要有充分的心里准备，要有久久的耐心与深厚的热忱。否则，你将永远是单个的、原来的你，故乡也仅是你出生的、一个并不十分美好的地方。 　
　
　　回望故乡，不能是一种模糊的妄想，一时的冲动或无聊时的消遣之举。举目回望那个记忆也许早已并不太清晰的地方，要知道，炎炎的阳光之火会烫伤你细白的皮肤，但不痛；大山之石会阻挡你急促的步履，却也会使你精力倍增；那条条交织而过的河川小流则会透浸你的每个毛孔到奇经八脉，让你心魂安宁，火褪神清气爽。如站得实在累了，就随意地顺地而坐，抬头望着那轮光艳的夕照久久地出神；又累了，就自然闭目，听从眼前耳边滑过的柔柔轻轻的风的莲步是如何一点点移入你的心田的；知道后，再嗅嗅远方原野上传来的淡淡异香奇味，想想自己出生的那一刻，那股清真的气味，与它是否同一纯香？如真得疲惫不堪了，就把那条清淅的小溪水双手捧掬起来，大口大口入饮，它会化解你心头的炎暑烦忧，使你渐渐地遗忘世事的红尘杂音。 　
　
　　真正的回望故乡，必须彻底得走进故乡。而一但走入生你养你的那片故里故园，你肯定已不是刚才衣着整洁、神态端庄、举止有节、眩耀张扬的你，你定然要去掉那些多余的、各种华丽的外饰，摒除耳畔所有的纷杂，捧献着一颗嫩弱的心脏，用赤脚裸臂真真地走入它的经络血海骨髓，直至你不得不在他宽广的胸膛上慢慢地躺下，闭目屏息，静静地吟听从其心魂深处弹奏出的高山仙韵，流水神音。 　
　
　　 　
　
　　三 　
　
　　 　
　
　　但，在回望故乡之前，你必须清楚，你回望的目光不一定就永远那么坦率真诚，故乡也不一定就始终那样的直白坦率单一，或会重新令你心魂颤栗难安。起初，当你顶着刺骨的烈风，迈着沉重的脚步走出大山的重压，河水的网织，大漠的无奈，巷街陋窄的围逼，向着明天迷茫未知的旭日晦月前行时，你的稚气朝气或锐气是如何的冲荡心室，翻涌不息，落泪难安？顾怜身后亲人的张望担忧与牵挂，朝起霞落，鹜飞雀啼的荒凉枯木，你的心湖掀起的是回报的愧疚，感恩的激响，还是永决的誓语？风风雨雨的世纪，年年岁岁的回轮，人生无常，命运顺舛……当今日回首的目光，再次与往惜的断桥枯水、秃岭荒坡、颓墙杞垣相碰时，你是以五彩的光环将之掩盖，还是黯然神伤，失语喟叹？站在依旧破落的庭院，望着默淡的墙壁，低矮的窑洞，灰头灰脸的亲人，你会象高居云端的上帝，默默无声地走过，还是低下挺立许久的躯体，细细触摸着它的一草一石，一什一物，愧疚地泪叹涟涟，更甚失语痛声？忆起当年幼稚身躯的跳来蹦往，笑逐嬉开，你感觉到母体与子体的血脉是同时搏起息下，同浓同淡，还是清浊已别，泾渭难融？ 　
　
　　人，是一种怪体，世上最难把握的一种无常的灵物，特别是它的心性魂志有时连自己都不能识知。贪?痴，悲喜怒，苦辣甜，长期以来会慢慢用五味六觉通过脏腑而蚀其肌肤，损其精骨，稀淡其浓浓血性的。而自己却麻木不知，怡然自得，仍以游子赤子自居自慰，常回故乡观光度假上坟祭祖，或寻其庇护，或获得几声赞诩。所以，常常说回望故乡的人，不一定就是真的回念那里最纯真的山水与最亲切的笑容，回望故乡也不一定就真得能读懂那里的山精水灵，树神草性，通彻故乡淳朴的本质，续大自然的真正情缘。 　
　
　　同理，故乡亦然。别后的岁岁年年里，沉寂无声却有情性翻涌，寂然不动但思绪又捉摸不定。它落后也真诚，无私却贪欲；有时富连阡陌，有时贫穷一洗；可蕴育千古智慧，又时时苍白得让人惊诧。山如是，水如是。有时慷慨千古，养育了万千健壮的子孙，有时吝啬得让一毛一草不长不生，世代荒芜。同一块厚土，良忠贤佞有别；同一汪湖泊，智钝清浊分明。嫌贫爱富，扶强凌弱之大的过错差误，可亲可敬可爱的故乡也常犯。于是，回首故乡时，常常不得不让我们神凝气聚，放远目光，敝开胸怀，以一种平静的心息与之一一和对，在每个日落月出间慢慢解读它的深奥与神秘，领悟其繁复的真谛。如此，回望故乡才可真正从生命的源泉里探究出那唯一的本性特质。 　
　
　　 　
　
　　四 　
　
　　 　
　
　　但不管怎样，故乡还是真正难忘的，这并非因为它的美好遥远，相反，往往由于它无尽的困苦，无能的赢弱，无量的胸怀，无或比及的品性，让从这里诞生、成长、居住、路过的每一个生命刻骨铭记，彻生难忘。时时热恋思慕故乡的人，说明其灵魂深处善美的本质还未消失，它的情感之流还能回溯到原始的领地，生命的航道还能承载更大的船舶，继续加速向前。而摒弃了家园的人，也可是生命超越世尘之后的更加纯净，烈风骤雨百般冲刷后，对庸碌低俗的真正超脱。因为，蕴育诞生它的母体并不是子体的完整遗传，具有独特血性的个体也非母体的完全克隆。生命是相续紧密的一体，同时又是间断独立的，生生相息并非性性相一。代代脉流之中，外界的春花夏阳秋风冬雪早把它的血精慢慢浸化滋润，每一骨骼的粗细脆韧，已随社会发展的舒缓快慢，人性的喜怒哀乐而不同往昔。不用纯正的心魂去探究故里，不闻听乡音，不祭祀山神友情，不捐赠布施乡里者，或许已是大彻大悟的觉者。不回望或进入故乡，正是灵魂真正融入了故里，与故乡之心神已相合为一，自然地能在一种特别公允无私平等的情河里畅游纵饮从千里万里涌来的大地的同一乳泉，而使天下为吾之天下，他乡为吾之故地，他人为吾之亲人。爱我所爱，远近无别。所爱又均自觉地来爱我。于是，没有必要再动用凡体去践行那低等的作为，回归故乡已成为浪得浮名的矫作。 　

放弃也是一种快乐

　人的情感总是希望有所得，以为拥有的东西越多，自己就会越快乐。所以，这一人之常情就迫使我们沿着追寻获取的路走下去。可是，有一天，我们忽然惊觉：我们的忧郁、无聊、困惑、无奈、一切不快乐，都和我们的要求有关，我们之所以不快乐，是我们渴望拥有的东西太多了，或者，太执着了，不知不觉，我们已经执迷于某个事物上了。譬如说，你爱上了一个人，而他却不爱你，你的世界就微缩在对他的感情上了，他的一切都能吸引你的注意力，都能成为你快乐和痛苦的源泉。有时候，你明明知道那不是你的，却想去强求，也可能出于盲目自信，或过于相信精诚所至、金石为开，结果不断地努力，却遭来不断的挫折。有的靠缘分，有的靠机遇，不是自己的不强求，无法得到的就放弃。懂得放弃才有快乐，背着包袱走路总是很辛苦。我们在生活中，时刻都在取与舍中选择，我们又总是渴望着取，渴望着占有，常常忽略了舍，忽略了占有的反面是--放弃。懂得了放弃的真意，也就理解了“失之东隅，收之桑榆”的妙谛。懂得了放弃的真意，静观万物，体会与世界一样博大的境界，我们自然会懂得适时地有所放弃，这正是我们获得内心平衡，获得快乐的好方法。生活有时会逼迫你，不得不交出权力，不得不放走机遇，甚至不得不抛下爱情。你不可能什么都得到，生活中应该学会放弃。放弃会使你显得豁达豪爽。放弃会使你冷静主动，放弃会让你变得更智慧和更有力量。什么应该放弃？放弃失恋带来的痛楚，放弃心中所有难言的负荷，放弃浪费精力的争吵，放弃没完没了的解释，放弃对权力的追逐，放弃对金钱的贪欲，放弃对名利的争夺……一切源于自私的欲望，一切恶意的念头，一切固执的观念都应该放弃。 　
　 然而，放弃并非易事，需要很大的勇气。面对诸多不可为之事，勇于放弃，是明智的选择。大千世界，取之弃之是相互伴随的，有所弃才有所取。人的一生是放弃和争取的矛盾统一体，潇洒地放弃不必要的名利，执著地去追求自己的人生目标。人生短暂，与浩瀚的历史长河相比，世间一切恩恩怨怨，功名利禄皆为短暂的一瞬，福兮祸所伏，祸兮福所倚。得意与失意，在人的一生中只是短短的一瞬。行至水穷处，坐看云起时。想想看古今多少事，都付谈笑中。有一个人在行驶的火车上，不小心把刚买的新鞋弄掉了一只，周围的人都为他惋惜。不料那人立即把第二只鞋从窗口扔了出去，让人大吃一惊。那人解释道：“这一只鞋无论多么昂贵，对我来说也没有用了，如果有谁捡到一双鞋，说不定还能穿呢！”显然，老人的行为已有了价值判断：与其抱残守缺，不如断然放弃。我们都有过某种重要的东西失去的事，且大都在心理上留下了阴影。究其原因，就是我们并没有调整心态去面对失去，没有从心理上承认失去，总是沉湎于已经不存在的东西。事实上，与其为失去的而懊恼，不如正视现实，换一个角度想问题：也许你失去的，正是他人应该得到的。普希金在一首诗中写道：“一切都是暂时的，一切都会消逝；让失去的变为可爱。”有时，失去不一定是忧伤，反而会成为一种美丽；失去不一定是损失，反倒是一种奉献。只要我们抱着积极乐观的心态，失去也会变得快。 　
　　人生箴言：放弃是一种睿智，它可以放飞心灵，可以还原本性，使你真实地享受人生；放弃是一种选择，没有明智的放弃就没有辉煌的选择。

为了飞，为了自己的梦

有一只雄鹰，它飞过天空，练习飞翔。

　　有一个孩子，他仰望天空，不断遐想。

　　雄鹰承受着生活中的磨难，想象着自己以后能够成为英雄。孩子承受着学习中的考验，憧憬着自己以后的美好未来。

　　那个时候，雄鹰和它的兄弟姐妹们被母亲无情地折断翅膀，兄弟姐妹们一个个被母亲扔下悬崖，一个个努力地扇动自己的翅膀，终于到自己了。母亲将自己无情的扔下了悬崖，自己努力的煽动翅膀，终于下降的速度慢了，他学会飞了！但每一次煽动翅膀都耗费了极多的力气，终于他飞上了峭壁学会了飞，这记忆与飞的本领是终生的。

　　那个孩子与雄鹰一样，经历着考验。在家长和老师的督促下努力、勤奋地学习，他也向往有一天能够和雄鹰一样展翅高飞！向往有一天能够实现自己心中所憧憬和未来，但孩子那双隐形的翅膀被生活中无数的困难折断，但又一次又一次坚强地生长。看着生活中残酷的现实，他无数次想到过放弃，但最后还是坚强地挺了过来。

　　孩子仰望着天空，空中有一只鸟飞过，但不是搏击长空的雄鹰，心中有着要飞的信念，这信念才是真正刚强的翅膀！当孩子看到它时，心在放弃与坚持中徘徊。鸟儿飞到了他的面前，冥冥之中，孩子似乎听到鸟儿在说：“没有人能帮助雄鹰飞翔除了他自己”于是孩子终于决定要坚持，为了能飞，为了自己的梦。

　　这个孩子就是我，那只雄鹰就是我心中的梦，我所憧憬的未来。

　　在那以后，我有时又会想到放弃，当我的信念动摇时，我总会想到飞的意义，想那句话：没有谁能帮助雄鹰飞翔除了他自己。

    为了飞，为了自己的梦六年级:金蕾